I felt so free running around as a child at the farm, barefoot and full of imagination. I’ve always had a good case of the sillies, but somehow, as I grew up, I began to put that “untamed” part of myself aside. I learned what good girls do, and what they don’t. I learned how to speak, how to behave, and what the so-called rules were. Oh, and I was a pleaser. I wanted to make everyone happy — my parents, my teachers, my friends, complete strangers, you name it. And so I made decent grades, excelled in sports, got accepted to lots of universities, and escaped the small-town/ranch life that I thought was making me miserable. Was I a perfect angel? Far from it, but not too far. I got a degree, a job, a husband, a couple of dogs and then a couple of (amazing) children. All in the “right” order. All according to what I thought I was supposed to do. Why wasn’t I perfectly happy?
It wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I finally started listening to myself. Really, deeply listening. Now, a couple decades later, after some serious and painful life changes, I’m finally where I’m supposed to be. I’ve finally found my silly, fierce, adventurous, and creative self again. I’ve found the love of my life. I’ve retired from the day job that helped me raise two beautiful children, but ate me from the inside out. I’m now writing songs, singing, painting, traveling, playing, and learning new things, full-time. I’ve never felt happier, or more like the me I was born to be. And as I become my more authentic self and have started celebrating my gifts, and my many, oh so many, interests (squirrel!), the more open and free I feel. There’s a magical sensation of being led in the right direction. I’m expanding. This life is a soul journey, which brings its share of learning opportunities and pain, but I couldn’t be more full of wonder, gratitude, or joy.
This song’s about finding that. Sometimes you have to burn all your beliefs and rules to the ground. Sometimes you have to change everything. Listen to yourself. You already know.
Big love, and big dreams,